Відео

This man speaks truth! I am a young man who survived a psychopathic "mother" and a narcissistic "father." After much therapy, spiritual awakening, zero-contact, etc, I still carry the emptiness, anxiety, and sadness in my body. I'm learning to cope rather than completely heal.

It’s so unfair and painful. I try to be strong but I feel hopeless. Blessings, light, strength and resilience to everyone who’s experienced abuse. Hoping all children who are abused and neglected don’t develop narcissism living a life of pain both in themselves and inflicted upon others.

So I disengaged from my parents 15 years ago and a year ago my father died and my mother was put into a home for dementia. Essentially they aren't in my lives anymore. When I think of them it is a sadness and a regret but it isn't because I disengaged it's because I'm realizing my memories are when I believed I was actually loved. I've since found out that was never the case. So my grief is really for a fantasy. That's what you have to focus on the fact that you never really had the parents that you should have had. You're really grieving the loss of what never happened. So the fact that they died isn't actually relevant.

❤👏👏👏❤

The workplace is the worst

I realised after decades of hiding the abuse of my childhood that my ‘parents’ had been painting me as the bad person since the age of 9! Terrified that I would someday tell the truth, they had painted me as bad child, the difficult child, the problem child. All the while I was smiling and hiding their secret! So the day came when I told them to fuck off and now of course they are right! Because of course the big bad nine year old is to blame for alllll the problems. Now I stand on the ground that anyone that listens to this shite and believes it are as fucked in the head as they are! Let them all gobble each other up and walk on knowing that when it comes to your children - it ends with you!

The intermittent smear campaigns over 3 decades from my mother was brutal, I truly think it’s caused long term CPTSD that I haven’t yet unearthed. The finale smear campaign to my in-laws who my mother also hoped to use as flying monkeys was the final straw for me. I have gone no contact with her since Nov 2023, it’s been the most healing experience on my nervous system, my mind, my spirit, my emotional stability. I’m 34, I’d never heard of narcissism before a friend mentioned the erratic behavioural patterns which aligned so perfectly with my mother’s. After researching I feel that she is a true covert narcissist. I don’t plan on ever having contact with her and she certainly won’t be having a relationship with my children which is what she’s using now to gain sympathy. Its devastating, heartbreaking and overwhelming to think that she is my mother but it’s so transformative and empowering knowing what I know now about personality disorders and how I myself can show up as the best mother to my own children.

The day after my birthday I received this from my dad (translated) "Hello my Tanya and sorry I couldn't understand why you didn't reply to my message yesterday morning But just now I realized I hadn't hit send. Wrote it a little past 07:00 yesterday, maybe that's why it went wrong. After all, I am a B or C person Here it is... _____________ Good morning and a huge happy birthday ❤️🐧🇩🎂🇰🎈❤️ I hope you have a wonderful day. Hooray Hooray Hoorayaaaaaa Love you endlessly ❤️ " It all seems innocent and like a cute message from dad but... If you know you know. I still don't know how to respond to love 💣 that 1 or two days contact a year. I wish I was strong enough to not care. Working with your book still ❤️🫶

Pure horror alcohics parents, there but never there, when the tail wags the dog game over,

It’s great to see so many strong ppl with a lot of integrity in this thread. So glad that it’s out in the open and being discussed. It’s a fundamentally important issue.

I am very grateful for you.

Yes ! I couldn't stand people who are toxic but still sent cards or gifts just to have a sort of leverage over you and to play the victim towards outsiders that don't understand.

I don't even know what you're saying

This is so spot on! It was too traumatising to peel myself away from my very covert narcissistic mother, however, after the birth of my daughter my light began to dim seeing how hostile and out of control her words and actions were towards me. It blew my mind that even after a blessing of such a beautiful granddaughter she continued her toxic antics, the final straw was when I let her hold my 11 month old daughter and she completely annihilated me! She was saying how evil and horrible I am and I’m cursed blah blah blah……..I have been no contact since. That’s what it took to give me the strength to say enough is enough. I have never been at such peace in my whole existence. However, I am now dealing with the aftermath of anger towards her for all the pain and anguish she put me through for 34 years of my life, she has dismantled our family dynamic and traumatised my siblings along the way. It will take me a long time to heal from this ❤

Sooo true

It’s a cycle

Cut my dad off last 2 years of his life. When he died, I broke down for 2 minutes. Ex fiance was shocked and didn't know what to do. Told her that I'm not crying because he died. I'm crying because of the relationship we could have had.

thank you Josh! So validating, i’ve never known darkness like my family.

Hey buddy, have you done any vids on more covertly toxic/narcissistic parents? Im listening to the start of your book and although i can relate its (so far) talking about overtly toxic behaviour.

Well said mate. As soon as your children are in the picture you know exactly what you and will not stand for

My parents always playing victim

Also, they study you, they study your close relationships you have, they have done their work on you. They know youuuu. What’s gonna set you off, what makes you tick, etc…

It’s absolutely terrible.

“I’m always listening to you”, “I’m always watching you”! Literally, not figuratively.

He said, “that’s embarrassing mate”! lol 🇬🇧

Thank you for your raw honesty.

Covert Narcissist, and in severe cases, Sociopath!

Beautifully said …….. you made some important points especially that children cotton on . I’m on the other side of this ( thank god ) my son is now an adult and a few years ago after a magnificent example of manipulation from my father he decided he was also not going to be involved with his grandparents. It’s so layered isn’t it trying to protect your child and navigate some form of relationship for them with their grandparents, with all the knowledge, fear and mental trauma from your own relationship with your parents . Thank you for this x

The children is the line in the sand. The shock these abusive parents feel is only based on the fact they got away with abusing you for so long! People don’t change and if they treated you like a dog they aren’t going to treat your children with any kind of respect.

I made this decision then they took me to court and the court is on their side so it continues worse than before, just when I thought I was finally going to get some peace. Yes, my child is suffering because of the effect on my mental health. 😢

Dear God I need the ONLY SAVIOR JESUS CHRIST.i ASK YOU TO come into my HEART 💕 💜 by FAITH THROUGH GRACE.Im sorry for all the Sin I have done. I ask you to forgive me. I believe GOD RAISED YOU FROM THE TOMB JESUS. That you died for my sins . To Reconcile us back to the HEAVENLY FATHER GOD. Now FILL ME WITH YOUR GLORIOUS HOLYSPIRT AGAPE LOVE FATHER GOD YHWH. I RECIEVE JESUS CHRIST as my personal savior and LORD 🙏 Hallelujah I am SAVED, AFFIRMED Accepted in the Beloved. TO MY EXTERNAL DESTINY HEAVEN FOREVERMORE IN FATHER GOD AWESOME GLORY PRESENTS. I AM FREE TO Read and Understand JESUS CHRIST IN HOLY Bible Now 1st John, 2nd John 3 Rd John then Gospels. Mathew,Mark, Luke, John

This has literally just happened to me. My parent and sibling cut me out for a year because they didn’t like how I am as a person. They picked at my personality, they told me I was unlikeable as a person and that I made everyone feel unwelcoming. They fell out with me because I raised my concern for my mum having an alcohol dependency that interrupted her relationship with me and my kids. The verbal attacks I had following speaking up after 30+ years was unreal. The hate they had for me came flowing out from them both. Pathetic reasons to argue with me, over my lifestyle and life choices. Almost as if they had to push me to my lowest before they would accept their own faults that disrupt our relationship. Alcohol. They weren’t open to change, they were open to getting enjoyment out of arguing. I told them why I may present as unwelcoming, and it’s due to hiding childhood trauma very well. It presents with anxiety, depression and masking true issues to protect them from judging me. I told them this, and they said it’s my own fault and I’m a failure not them. They tell me my children are mistakes. They create me being the problem because they can’t take ownership of their own problems that they project onto me :(

Got this from foster care and seeing my parents fight before it. Needed to hear this vid lately, I just want to fix it.

Completely agree mate. I had to say to my dad in end. If you’re too busy to see me anymore then there’s no point in sending me a birthday card. It gives false hope and makes me feel very anxious

Abuse you over and over and when you finally go no contact, then they play victim.

This is gold. I’m sending this to my email.

I’m not interested in glomming on to the term *narcissist* Abused children often grasp onto this word as a life raft: if the abusive parent has an *illness* that means that “they really love me but they’re ill.” It’s often way too much to consider the possibility that the parent doesn’t love us or doesn’t love us enough. I take the position that the abusive behavior is a *choice* They absolutely know they are abusing you. Most abusive parents are simply lousy people of poor character. And because they engaged in an act of s ex ual congress - as any animal does -

My mum does this me and my siblings except one she's my mums favourite, she drives to our houses and hand posts them aswell, doesn't even knock, !!!!!!

Better not to be born

What my Mum has done to myself and my father for my whole life! So glad im able to see clearly now! Very interesting! So hard to explain this!

Yeah, that’s me all day every day.

My no contact parents only send birthday cards to my children but they will send a check made out to my husband and even worse than that, would purchase savings bonds for my children and list my husband as the beneficiary. They have no other contact with any of us....

❤

Wise words my man

Absolutely amazing wish I’d found this year !! Beats talking about trauma

Well said, thanks you, man

Tired of toxic parents

I think this channel is great because all channels like this are run by women.

Oh my gosh. You get it!!! My brother and sister in law are experts at swooping under the radar with their passive aggressive digs that are coated with "we love and care about you." It's been so hard to describe to people why I've had to cut ties because there are so many different examples, but each one on it's own sounds like it's no big deal. Thank you for labeling it as death by a thousand paper cuts. That was incredibly helpful. Please keep sharing your wisdom!

This is sooo true, Ive experienced this since child hood and even in my adult relationships with different partners. Its so sad but I'm on my healing journey now.